Who would be a coach eh? It is bad enough for us pub selectors to try and pick a team from the rubble of the EPS, so imagine how it must feel for Jonno as he sits through each weekend with chewed nails and winces with each injury report. No sooner does he write out a provisional team sheet than he has to screw it up and throw it away. The daily paper mountain from his waste bin alone is equivalent to the deforestation of an area the size of Wales.

Shaw, Vickery, Cipriani, Armitage D, Mears, Rees, Sheridan, Flutey, the list goes on and on. Grim stuff when trying to plan for battles with Australia, Argentina and the All Blacks on successive weekends.

But before we all start buying into the media gloom and campaigning for players to wear American Football-style helmets, let’s think positively.

England does have the largest player base of any union, or so we are told, so we should be in the best position to deal with a situation like the one currently faced. Certainly better equipped than say Georgia or Romania, who have to start thumbing through the schoolboy lists for replacements when their first player pulls up lame.

Also, we are not talking about the decimation of a settled squad on the eve of a World Cup, we are talking about a post-Lions Autumn series where, if we are honest, we are not expecting England to tear up trees anyway. It might even be a good thing to expose a wider number of fringe players to International rugby, players who otherwise would not have had the chance. Blood them now and it gives more choice for the 6 Nations and beyond.

Looked at another way, this situation provides Jonno with opportunity.

Injuries are good! Injuries are selection’s evolutionary force, the mutations that drive forward progress. They impose change, and change can be good. Coaches are forced to rethink. Game plans built around certain players become redundant when those players are not there, so existing tactics have to be adapted or new ones adopted. Team squads, especially predefined ones like the EPS, can become static gene pools. Injuries bring an influx of new players, and genetic diversity.

Fringe players who might never have been considered, suddenly get the chance to shine. And many do. In recent years, think of the likes of Armitage, Banahan, Strettle. All have taken their chance due to injuries to others.

Successful coaches are often lucky coaches who, due to injuries, find by chance a magic team chemistry and then are hailed as great selectors. Now is the time for Jonno and his fellow selectors to be brave, trust their intuition and take a punt on a new face. It just might pay off.

Lucky Injuries? – some examples where enforced change has galvanised a team:

 After losing to Portugal and drawing with Morocco in the 1986 football World Cup, England was in crises. Injuries and suspension forced the exclusion of team mainstays Robson and Wilkins.  In came Reid, Hodge and Stevens. The new formation flourished and England won their next two games 3-0 before going out to that handball.

 It still brings a lump to my throat watching James Robson tend to the stricken Rob Howley on the Living with Lions DVD. Hard to imagine the devastation Rob must have felt, the management as well. Still, no harm done to the team as in came Matt Dawson to dummy half of South Africa in the first test.

 In the 2003 6 Nations, England had been stodgy in their opening games. Worse, attacking force of nature Jason Robinson was injured for the visit of Italy to Twickenham. In stepped Josh Lewsey to full back. Lewsey was outstanding, and kept his place in the team, shunting Billy Whizz to the wing, from where he scored that famous try in Sidney the following November.

Unlucky injuries – where injury just sucks:

 To have stood any chance on the 2005 tour, it was a necessity for the Lions to have three key players: Dallaglio, Wilkinson and O’Driscoll, at full form and fitness. All three were crocked before the first test was finished.

 Any injury to Jonny Wilkinson since 2003.

As the nights draw in and the condensation starts to form on car windows in the morning, thoughts start to turn to getting the overcoats out of the back of the wardrobe and putting the lawn mower away for the year. Yes, Autumn is upon us, November is nearly here, and November means only one thing – Autumn Internationals at Twickenham! God’s way of telling us that the end of  Summer is not so bad.

Now back in the heady days of 2000-2002 this meant whacking the likes of Australia and New Zealand and hearing the ritual whingeing about it being the end of their season, not their first team etc etc. In recent times however it has been England hung, drawn and quartered at HQ. Last year was particularly painful and it was a harsh reality check for coach Jonno.

So as a new Investec Challenge series approaches, we amateur pundits get a chance to mull over the selection issues facing England and to choose our fantasy starting line up. All selections obviously restricted to the EPS, but injuries have given leeway for some promotions. Dom has beaten me a bit to the punch but I had already written this anyway.

 Back 3

With the injury to Armitage, England are shorn of their best fullback. For me, the man to replace him is Cipriani. Danny has endured a rough year and seems to be being punished by the England management but this year his form seems to have returned. You can’t keep ignoring his ability because his face doesn’t fit. He has played at 15 for Wasps with some success and there is nobody else really crying out for selection. I am a big Morgan fan but his form has dropped as Gloucester struggle, Abendanon is just too flaky, Foden is in danger of becoming a poor version of Austin Healey and I don’t go on Will Greenwood’s call for Monye to be slotted into fullback. I just think Jonno is too conservative and too stubborn to make this call.

On the wing I would have Banahan and Monye. I would not be unhappy with Cueto but I think Monye will be infinitely wiser for his Lion’s experience and Banahan is surely the next big thing (literally) for England. He might lack some nouse but he is a fast leaner, works hard, and is just too potent a weapon to ignore. Oh and watch this space on Varndell,

 Centres

Problems here, as there has been really since the Catt/Tindall/Greenwood days. Flood has never convinced as a 12. Geraghty is showing well though. He seems over his injuries and is the nearest thing we will get to having a Matt Gitaeu. Put him at inside centre outside Wilkinson and take the creative load off Jonny’s shoulders. I think England have always been at their best with two or three playmakers on the pitch. Think back to 2002 again, when Catt or even Austin Healey would slot in at 10 allowing Wilko to pop up where he wanted so the opposition never knew where the attack was coming from.

Outside centre is more of an issue. Tindall would be the dependable choice. Hipkiss keeps knocking on the door without really going through it. Tait has his fans but surely if he was going to be great he would have done it by now? I would love to see Tait really blossom and become a star of England’s midfield but I just have this feeling he is going to be a nearly man. Of the outsiders, Jon Clarke is starting to show what he is capable of at Northampton but it’s too soon for Waldouk at Wasps. My choice? Geraghty and Tindall.

 Halfback

The return of the demi-god anointed one Jonny Wilkinson has kept a permanent smile on my face since August. Assuming he can keep fit and play at least occasionally flat then England’s odds have tumbled. I just wince every time he goes into a tackle:{

Flood is still broken so the backup might be Myler, or will we see Cipriani brought back in from the cold in his favoured position?

Scrumhalf again is tricky as key contenders have either lost form or are playing in losing sides. Neither Care nor Ellis are impressing. Hodgson is the man in form but will Jonno see beyond his Leicester mucker? Simpson is tearing up trees at Wasps but he is unlikely to be thrown into the mix.

 Back row

England has the most serious selection problems across all three rows of the pack and there are no standout contenders anywhere (even Croft is having a Lion’s comedown). At number 8 Nick Easter is a worthy player who has his strengths but he is only there because nobody else has emerged to challenge him. If only he could gain 5 yards of pace he would be ideal. Dan Ward-Smith (the legend that never was) is coming back into the reckoning but Luke Narraway has gone backwards. If only Haskell could grow up and knuckle down he would be the ideal number 8. Jordan Crane is a  very good player but he just seems too similar to Easter and is not really developing his game at Leicester. He needs to go somewhere like Wasps or Irish. His goal kicking could be handy mind. So Easter it is, which means we need pace to compensate. Croft has blindside sewn up I would imagine. That leaves openside, a perennial problem for England. As dependable and destructive in the tackle as Joe Worsley is, he creates nothing at 7.  Armitage junior still has much to learn but offers potential. Rees is still hors de combat but is surely the future. Lewis Moody seems a shadow of his former self.

 Second row

Borthwick is Jonno’s man so get used to it naysayers, he aint going anywhere so you might as well hope he starts to perform on the International stage as he does sometimes at club level. He just needs to get nastier. Shaw will get the other berth if fit. Not a lot else coming up behind.

 Front row

Sheridan and Vickery/White seem to have the propping slots sewn up (Let’s just forget Vickery’s first Lions test debacle!) as this is the barest of England’s cupboards. Let’s hope the likes of Corbisiero push on. At hooker do you want the lineout stability and all round game of Mears at the price of a weak scrummage, or do you give Hartley his chance and tell him you are going to build the pack around him? Hartley surely has the size, aggression and burgeoning maturity we need.

 So, if all fit I would go:

 Cipriani

Monye

Tindall

Geraghty

Banahan

Wilko

Hodgson

Easter

Rees

Croft

Shaw

Borthwick

Vickery

Hartley

Sheridan

White

Mears

Kay

Worsley

Ellis

Flood

Tait

Lack of gamebreakers on the bench but enough fizz in that back line for anyone.

I think Jonno will go:

Morgan

Monye

Tindall

Flood

Cueto/Banahan

Wilko

Ellis

Easter

Worsley

Croft

Borthwick

Vickery

Mears

Sheridan

Before the 6N started one of the more popular rugby forums was running a thread titled, “Your tournament hopes and fears”. It asked fans to state their ideal tournament, and their nightmare scenario.
My ideal realistic outcome was to lose no more than one match and to finish no worse than second. My nightmare scenario was to lose to Wales in the opener then to lose possibly two more matches, finishing fourth or even fifth.
As the 2008 championship now recedes already rapidly behind us, aspects of my worst and best scenarios both came to pass. We did lose to Wales, but we did come second. A curate’s egg then. Well, more like a curate’s battery egg farm actually.
The fact that England managed to sneak into the runners up spot is astonishing and frankly an indictment of the rest of the teams (Wales apart). It will no doubt be used by the urbane Mr. Andrew as evidence that England are “improving”, “moving to where we want to be”, “beginning to play the type of rugby we are know we are capable of” or some such. Any such cant however should be challenged in the strongest terms as if it is used to justify the status quo then it is the worst result possible for England.
What seems obvious is that things cannot remain as they are. The rumours of dressing room unrest are again surfacing and the knives are now well and truly out for Mr. Ashton and, in some quarters, Mr. Andrew. If Ashton et al survive the post 6N “review” (Mr. Andrew does seem fond of these exhaustive reviews doesn’t he?) they would surely not survive two 60 point maulings by New Zealand in June.
So how did England lurch from disaster to triumph back to disaster then to their best finish since 2003?
Wales (Lost 19-26)
Disaster. Total. Comfortable if not secure at half time, mashed at full time. I did not think Wales played that badly, or England that well, in the first half. One more score would probably have killed the game off. But England could not find that score. Disappointing injuries to the sick notes Moody and Strettle (as well as the nearly man that never was Rees) certainly unsettled England. Given that you would have thought 10-man rugby in the second half was the order of the day, whose brainwave was it to put Kay in the back row and then run everything from everywhere? Where was the direction from the coaches? Where was the leadership from key players? Unbelievable. Glad I did not buy tickets to this one.

Italy (Won 19-23)
Appalling again. One bit of flukey skill for Sackey’s try and that was it. Italy should have won and would have won if they possessed a half decent halfback. Worrying times.

France (Won 13-24)
World Cup semi final revisited. England revert to type and go large on defence and decent forward play. And France commit rugby suicide. Seriously, someone should tell Lievremont that the great French teams of the past had abundant running flair but they also had some of the nastiest, most physical forwards ever to play the game. One moment near the end summed it up for me. Five minutes left, France field a kick in their 22. Surely they will kick downfield as far as they can to get position? No, they run it, knock on and cede possession from which England score the clinching try! I was strangely muted after this game. Happy yes, but not as delighted as the drunken fans around me. It was like getting a credit card to pay off an overdraft.

Scotland (Lost 15-9)
What can one say? The worst game I have ever seen England play. In 30 years. Not even the debacles in the mid 80s were this bad. Following as it did on the heels of Dannygate, this was a bitter pill to swallow. Ashton was now in siege mode. Lose to Ireland and he would be out on his a**e. Credit to Scotland though for again being our Achilles heel.

Ireland (Won 33-10)
Dom has reviewed this on this site. Not much to add. Danny showed the way forward ( and you gotta love his f*****g interview style!) but it was just too little too late and left you just so angry at what might have been. If we could play so poorly so often and still come second? What would we be like if we actually had a clue?
 

Just  a quick round up of the morning news on Cipriani:

It seems that he went to a nightclub, possibly to drop off some tickets for some friends. He allegedly didn’t stay “for any length of time” and was apparently not drinking. My advice is next time get those friends to come to you to pick up their free tickets.

However, if the general consensus of what happened is true, then you have to agree that Ashton has overreacted massively and put further question marks over his judgement and long-term suitability to be head coach.

The rugby hacks tend to agree in their verdicts:

Mick Cleary of The Telegraph says that England have over-reacted.

And in the Telegraph blogs, Brendan Gallagher agrees.

David Hands of The Times says that to drop him is heavy-handed.

Whilst on The Times Blog, Stephen Jones wonders whether Cipriani is the new George Best.

Writing in The Guardian, Cipriani’s Wasps coach, and Englands coach-in-waiting, Shaun Edwards thinks the sentenace istoo harsh for youthful naiveity.

But, in his own inimitable style in hisTelegraph column, Brian Moore gives short shrift to Cipriani’s judgement.