England could finish anywhere.

With a whole big pot of luck, they could win it.

With an average run of luck and injuries, they could finish somewhere between third and fifth.

With a poor run, they could conceivably finish last.

Wales, Ireland and France have all got to be favourites in their clashes against England, regardless of location – on recent form, they have to be.

The Scots are almost resurgent under Andy Robinson – a man who knows all too well the stale England gameplan and the inept team of coaches.

Even Italy are a team who must surely one day claim the scalp of this once great team.

Three or four defeats out of five is by no means out of the question.

Just reading Ian McGeechan’s autobiography Lion Man.

I recommend it.

McGeechan is so renowed for his coaching that it’s easy to overlook what a good player he was (and he stopped playing before I can remember watching much rugby).

However, there’s one passage where he describes his coaching philosphy:

"I believe that when you put new players in or a relatively new team together, you've got to be pretty direct in your coaching; you have to give them a framework, and a thinking and an understanding, because if you haven't got one mind, and one overall idea of what you are trying to do, that's when you fall between two stools. Once you've got that base right, once you've got all the basics, you can do anything; you can mix and match and that's where the decision-making and the talent shows, and then bring the best out of each other... 

And when all else fails, what's the plan? Go forward, and win the contact. If you do that, you will probably win."

Now how relevant is that to the past six years of England rugby?

As Graham says, it should be coaching bread and butter (shame Graham doesn’t write more articles for the blog).

I really enjoyed the game on Saturday.

Why?

Because my money was on Argentina. With the weather forecast looming and knowledge of England’s poor out of hand kicking, I viewed the 5/1 on offer as fair game and well it proved. I laid off mid-game at 5/2, job done.

And thank goodness because without the added financial incentive, the game was utterly depressing from an England perspective.

Matt and I were at the game three years ago when we lost to Argentina at Twickenham under the gloom of the Andy Robinson years. Gloom that was perceived then as short-lived. However, except for a brief run in the RWC 2007 (very brief, mind, who can forget the depths of the pool games), this England team have gone nowhere, done nothing.

The list of complaints continues. It’s tempting not to reiterate as they’ve nearly all been said before but:

• Where’s the joy and spirit which should come with pulling on the white jersey?
• Where’s the white jersey?
• The continued poor kicking out of hand?
• Whither the rolling maul?
• On-field leadership?
• Steve Borthwick?
• Louis Deacon?
• All forwards other than Lewis Moody?
• The backs?
• Wings playing full-back?
• Quick ball?
• Playing the game as you see it?
• Looking to the bench for instructions? WTF?
• Do they practice any backs moves?
• Ford?
• Wells?
• Callard?
• Rowntree?

There is something rotten in the state of English rugby.

How hasty have we been with the likes of Ashton and Robinson? Good second-in-commands who should not have stepped up to the position of first receiver. (How ironic would it be for Andy Robinson’s Scotland to claim an English scalp in the coming Six Nations?)

No-one doubts having Martin Johnson in the picture, but he should not be head coach. We called for the heads of the two above, we called for MJ to be installed. A man who would cut to the chase. Are his hands tied? Does he know what is wrong?

We now call for action again.

The three amigos have to go – Ford, Wells & Callard. Maybe more.

Again, we have to ask the question where does Rob Andrew fit into all this? We question the whole hierarchy. The entire RFU.

If their role is to create a conveyor belt of young talent, what good if the conveyor belt dumps them into the pit of joylessness which seems to be international rugby with England.

This has to stop or an entire generation will be lost.

One of the sub-plots of yesterday’s clash between London Irish and Leicester was the battle of the open sides. The old nutter Lewis Moody versus the young wrecking ball Steffon Armitage. One of them is almost certain to line up for England against Australia in two weeks time, so who is the best bet to fill the troublesome 7 jersey? This is a position that England have not really filled since Neil Back retired. Partly it has to be said, because Moody himself has been second only to Jonny Wilkinson in the “always injured” stakes. Moody in his prime was as good a backrow player as England has seen. Let’s not forget that he split up the holy trinity of Dallaglio/Hill/Back at the start of the Autumn Internationals in 2002, was almost superhuman against New Zealand that year and it was only injury (surprise surprise) that let Back regain his place in the side. It was Moody’s line out take in the 2003 World Cup final that led to that drop goal. Since that great day, Moody has been seen only sporadically.
Last season Moody regained his place in the England squad and then promptly broke an ankle. Upon his return he looked washed up, at one point Martin Corry outpaced him during the Barbarians match. Happily this season he has returned from yet more injury in fine form for Leicester and is looking something like his old self. His intensity and disregard for his own safety (that borders on the insane and accounts for his high injury rate) gives real drive to any side he plays for. At one point yesterday he hammered young Armitage so hard in a tackle that he forced a knock on, a telling moment in their personal dual.
The London Irish flanker is a different type of player. Short, squat, but deceptively powerful, his low centre of gravity makes him almost impossible to shift when he is over the ball. In this respect he reminds me of George Smith. He carries better than Moody, indeed he carries better than Steve Borthwick. His ability to punch holes in opposition fringe defences could in fact be his biggest value to England.
With England’s current injury situation, it might be Moody’s experience and dynamism that win him the day. Moody to start then with the pocket battleship to come off the bench. Or even how about this, Moody at 6, Armitage at 7? Who knows, If England get any more injuries, it just might happen.

Moody – 73/90
Armitage – 70/90

Who would be a coach eh? It is bad enough for us pub selectors to try and pick a team from the rubble of the EPS, so imagine how it must feel for Jonno as he sits through each weekend with chewed nails and winces with each injury report. No sooner does he write out a provisional team sheet than he has to screw it up and throw it away. The daily paper mountain from his waste bin alone is equivalent to the deforestation of an area the size of Wales.

Shaw, Vickery, Cipriani, Armitage D, Mears, Rees, Sheridan, Flutey, the list goes on and on. Grim stuff when trying to plan for battles with Australia, Argentina and the All Blacks on successive weekends.

But before we all start buying into the media gloom and campaigning for players to wear American Football-style helmets, let’s think positively.

England does have the largest player base of any union, or so we are told, so we should be in the best position to deal with a situation like the one currently faced. Certainly better equipped than say Georgia or Romania, who have to start thumbing through the schoolboy lists for replacements when their first player pulls up lame.

Also, we are not talking about the decimation of a settled squad on the eve of a World Cup, we are talking about a post-Lions Autumn series where, if we are honest, we are not expecting England to tear up trees anyway. It might even be a good thing to expose a wider number of fringe players to International rugby, players who otherwise would not have had the chance. Blood them now and it gives more choice for the 6 Nations and beyond.

Looked at another way, this situation provides Jonno with opportunity.

Injuries are good! Injuries are selection’s evolutionary force, the mutations that drive forward progress. They impose change, and change can be good. Coaches are forced to rethink. Game plans built around certain players become redundant when those players are not there, so existing tactics have to be adapted or new ones adopted. Team squads, especially predefined ones like the EPS, can become static gene pools. Injuries bring an influx of new players, and genetic diversity.

Fringe players who might never have been considered, suddenly get the chance to shine. And many do. In recent years, think of the likes of Armitage, Banahan, Strettle. All have taken their chance due to injuries to others.

Successful coaches are often lucky coaches who, due to injuries, find by chance a magic team chemistry and then are hailed as great selectors. Now is the time for Jonno and his fellow selectors to be brave, trust their intuition and take a punt on a new face. It just might pay off.

Lucky Injuries? – some examples where enforced change has galvanised a team:

 After losing to Portugal and drawing with Morocco in the 1986 football World Cup, England was in crises. Injuries and suspension forced the exclusion of team mainstays Robson and Wilkins.  In came Reid, Hodge and Stevens. The new formation flourished and England won their next two games 3-0 before going out to that handball.

 It still brings a lump to my throat watching James Robson tend to the stricken Rob Howley on the Living with Lions DVD. Hard to imagine the devastation Rob must have felt, the management as well. Still, no harm done to the team as in came Matt Dawson to dummy half of South Africa in the first test.

 In the 2003 6 Nations, England had been stodgy in their opening games. Worse, attacking force of nature Jason Robinson was injured for the visit of Italy to Twickenham. In stepped Josh Lewsey to full back. Lewsey was outstanding, and kept his place in the team, shunting Billy Whizz to the wing, from where he scored that famous try in Sidney the following November.

Unlucky injuries – where injury just sucks:

 To have stood any chance on the 2005 tour, it was a necessity for the Lions to have three key players: Dallaglio, Wilkinson and O’Driscoll, at full form and fitness. All three were crocked before the first test was finished.

 Any injury to Jonny Wilkinson since 2003.

As the nights draw in and the condensation starts to form on car windows in the morning, thoughts start to turn to getting the overcoats out of the back of the wardrobe and putting the lawn mower away for the year. Yes, Autumn is upon us, November is nearly here, and November means only one thing – Autumn Internationals at Twickenham! God’s way of telling us that the end of  Summer is not so bad.

Now back in the heady days of 2000-2002 this meant whacking the likes of Australia and New Zealand and hearing the ritual whingeing about it being the end of their season, not their first team etc etc. In recent times however it has been England hung, drawn and quartered at HQ. Last year was particularly painful and it was a harsh reality check for coach Jonno.

So as a new Investec Challenge series approaches, we amateur pundits get a chance to mull over the selection issues facing England and to choose our fantasy starting line up. All selections obviously restricted to the EPS, but injuries have given leeway for some promotions. Dom has beaten me a bit to the punch but I had already written this anyway.

 Back 3

With the injury to Armitage, England are shorn of their best fullback. For me, the man to replace him is Cipriani. Danny has endured a rough year and seems to be being punished by the England management but this year his form seems to have returned. You can’t keep ignoring his ability because his face doesn’t fit. He has played at 15 for Wasps with some success and there is nobody else really crying out for selection. I am a big Morgan fan but his form has dropped as Gloucester struggle, Abendanon is just too flaky, Foden is in danger of becoming a poor version of Austin Healey and I don’t go on Will Greenwood’s call for Monye to be slotted into fullback. I just think Jonno is too conservative and too stubborn to make this call.

On the wing I would have Banahan and Monye. I would not be unhappy with Cueto but I think Monye will be infinitely wiser for his Lion’s experience and Banahan is surely the next big thing (literally) for England. He might lack some nouse but he is a fast leaner, works hard, and is just too potent a weapon to ignore. Oh and watch this space on Varndell,

 Centres

Problems here, as there has been really since the Catt/Tindall/Greenwood days. Flood has never convinced as a 12. Geraghty is showing well though. He seems over his injuries and is the nearest thing we will get to having a Matt Gitaeu. Put him at inside centre outside Wilkinson and take the creative load off Jonny’s shoulders. I think England have always been at their best with two or three playmakers on the pitch. Think back to 2002 again, when Catt or even Austin Healey would slot in at 10 allowing Wilko to pop up where he wanted so the opposition never knew where the attack was coming from.

Outside centre is more of an issue. Tindall would be the dependable choice. Hipkiss keeps knocking on the door without really going through it. Tait has his fans but surely if he was going to be great he would have done it by now? I would love to see Tait really blossom and become a star of England’s midfield but I just have this feeling he is going to be a nearly man. Of the outsiders, Jon Clarke is starting to show what he is capable of at Northampton but it’s too soon for Waldouk at Wasps. My choice? Geraghty and Tindall.

 Halfback

The return of the demi-god anointed one Jonny Wilkinson has kept a permanent smile on my face since August. Assuming he can keep fit and play at least occasionally flat then England’s odds have tumbled. I just wince every time he goes into a tackle:{

Flood is still broken so the backup might be Myler, or will we see Cipriani brought back in from the cold in his favoured position?

Scrumhalf again is tricky as key contenders have either lost form or are playing in losing sides. Neither Care nor Ellis are impressing. Hodgson is the man in form but will Jonno see beyond his Leicester mucker? Simpson is tearing up trees at Wasps but he is unlikely to be thrown into the mix.

 Back row

England has the most serious selection problems across all three rows of the pack and there are no standout contenders anywhere (even Croft is having a Lion’s comedown). At number 8 Nick Easter is a worthy player who has his strengths but he is only there because nobody else has emerged to challenge him. If only he could gain 5 yards of pace he would be ideal. Dan Ward-Smith (the legend that never was) is coming back into the reckoning but Luke Narraway has gone backwards. If only Haskell could grow up and knuckle down he would be the ideal number 8. Jordan Crane is a  very good player but he just seems too similar to Easter and is not really developing his game at Leicester. He needs to go somewhere like Wasps or Irish. His goal kicking could be handy mind. So Easter it is, which means we need pace to compensate. Croft has blindside sewn up I would imagine. That leaves openside, a perennial problem for England. As dependable and destructive in the tackle as Joe Worsley is, he creates nothing at 7.  Armitage junior still has much to learn but offers potential. Rees is still hors de combat but is surely the future. Lewis Moody seems a shadow of his former self.

 Second row

Borthwick is Jonno’s man so get used to it naysayers, he aint going anywhere so you might as well hope he starts to perform on the International stage as he does sometimes at club level. He just needs to get nastier. Shaw will get the other berth if fit. Not a lot else coming up behind.

 Front row

Sheridan and Vickery/White seem to have the propping slots sewn up (Let’s just forget Vickery’s first Lions test debacle!) as this is the barest of England’s cupboards. Let’s hope the likes of Corbisiero push on. At hooker do you want the lineout stability and all round game of Mears at the price of a weak scrummage, or do you give Hartley his chance and tell him you are going to build the pack around him? Hartley surely has the size, aggression and burgeoning maturity we need.

 So, if all fit I would go:

 Cipriani

Monye

Tindall

Geraghty

Banahan

Wilko

Hodgson

Easter

Rees

Croft

Shaw

Borthwick

Vickery

Hartley

Sheridan

White

Mears

Kay

Worsley

Ellis

Flood

Tait

Lack of gamebreakers on the bench but enough fizz in that back line for anyone.

I think Jonno will go:

Morgan

Monye

Tindall

Flood

Cueto/Banahan

Wilko

Ellis

Easter

Worsley

Croft

Borthwick

Vickery

Mears

Sheridan

Well, it has been months and months since I wrote anything on this site, real life work and a new baby has seen to that. Finally I have a spare moment and I must say how it is gratifying to see how esteemed journalists take the time to read and paraphrase this occasional blog. It seems Mr. Ackford agrees with me on England’s  lack of enforcers. Well done Paul, even if you are over 18 months behind this site!

Ackford September 2009

Maxamatic March 2008

In the Lions squad of 2007, a promising, young centre was picked, yet to be capped despite significant clamour from regular watchers of club rugby.

That man was Will Greenwood.

Who nearly died on that tour.

(If you’ve never seen it, watch the greatest rugby video every made – Living with the Lions).

12 years on from that great, great tour, a similar situation arises.

Johnno, handcuffed with a strange agreement that let’s him make five changes from a squad picked before the 2008-2009 season began, faces a problem in the centre.

One man making regular, significant contributions in the centres for his club is yet again overlooked.

That man is Jon Clarke of Northampton.

He’s got a long way to go to be the new Greenwood, but he has made a start.

And, no less a judge of centre that Jeremy Guscott also agrees thinks he’s earned that chance.

Let’s reflect on the revised England squad:

Forwards: Tim Payne (Wasps), Andrew Sheridan (Sale), Matt Stevens (Bath), Phil Vickery (Wasps), George Chuter (Leicester), Dylan Hartley (Northampton), Lee Mears (Bath), Steve Borthwick (Saracens), Nick Kennedy (London Irish), Tom Palmer (Wasps), Simon Shaw (Wasps), Tom Croft (Leicester), James Haskell (Wasps), Lewis Moody (Leicester), Tom Rees (Wasps), Nick Easter (Harlequins), Luke Narraway (Gloucester).

Backs: Delon Armitage (London Irish), Olly Morgan (Gloucester), Mathew Tait (Sale), Mark Cueto (Sale), Paul Sackey (Wasps), Ugo Monye (Harlequins), Jamie Noon (Newcastle), Mike Tindall (Gloucester), Riki Flutey (Wasps), Shane Geraghty (London Irish), Danny Cipriani (Wasps), Toby Flood (Leicester), Danny Care (Harlequins), Harry Ellis (Leicester), Ben Foden (Northampton).

First of all, Johnno’s hands were tied.

From the agreement at the start of the season and the initial squad, injuries aside, Johnno could make five changes.

What a ridiculous importance that places on the first squad of the season.

But, but, but, let’s face it – the squad has an out of form look about it.

Forgetting about positions, if you were to pick on form, you’d play three full-backs (or at least men currently playing full-back for their clubs) – Morgan, Foden & Cueto.

But, surely you couldn’t drop man-of-the-autumn Delon Armitage. So that’s four full-backs then.

And then, none of the forwards makes a compelling case on current club form.

So… that’s four full-backs and no forwards.

So, picking on form, we have to accomodate four full-backs, Mike Tindall, and Shane Geraghty.
And no forwards.
Terrific.
And Twickenham tickets – what a bargain.

So, Tindall plays inside which doesn’t tend to suit him. One full-back steps up to outside centre and two go to the wing – Foden says he’s a scrum-half but the Sale and Northampton side selector’s disagree. Fair enough, let’s say he’s not a wing but most of the back three should be interchangeable.

Ummm,
15. Foden
14. Morgan
13. Armitage
12. Tindall
11. Cueto
10. Geraghty
9. Care
And 1-8 are trading on past reputations.

And a prop in the squad picked as a centre, consistently.

Not exactly reassuring.

Plus Jon Clarke of Northampton should have been in the squad.

Very rarely do newspaper articles about rugby make me angry, there are after all far more important things in life to worry about, but this little beauty had me tutting and chuntering like a middle Englander reading a Daily Mail editorial.

Rob Andrew rejected the view that supporters were disenchanted following the calamitous sequence of results over the past three weeks

Reading this I wondered if Rob Andrew had taken some kind of powerful hallucinogen or had transmogrified into Walter Mitty or perhaps had taken PR lessons from Comical Ali.

If it was not so appalling it would be funny. If that is what the man really believes then England are in deeper trouble than the already deep trouble that the Autumn series suggested. Firstly his comments are an affront to the intelligence of England fans. Secondly, they are untrue.

Rob Andrew is on thin ice with most England fans as it is.  Let’s not forget he has presided over the Andy Robinson fiasco, the shameful Brian Ashton hiring and firing and now an all time record home defeat. He might be more slippery than a new Teflon pan from Mattalan, but sooner or later some doodoo is going to stick to this man. His reputed salary of £400K grates even more during the current economic climate at a time when the average fan has to wonder whether 80 quid for a top whack ticket and 4 quid for an insipid lager is really value to watch a rubbish team get spanked in a soulless new concrete block of a stadium.

My advice to England fans who do not agree with Mr. Andrew would be to boycott buying tickets to the forthcoming Six Nations matches. I intend to. And I am someone who has supported and travelled to watch England through thick and thin for the best part of 30 years.